Gabriel is a Little More Emotionally Scarred Than They Had Thought
by HeyAssButtImBatman
Summary: He didn't know what he had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't Gabriel sitting in the bathtub crying.


The sound of sniffling woke Sam up in the middle of the night. He looked over at Dean and Cas' bed and saw that his brother had fallen asleep with his headphones in. Sam scoffed. That was a safety hazard when there was constant danger of demons and angels on your ass. He'd have to talk to Dean about it in the morning, but for now he wanted to find the source of the crying.

Silently slipping out of bed, he grabbed his angel blade and gripped it tight in his fist. He was pretty sure that if someone -or something- had snuck into the motel room to attack him and Dean, it wouldn't be sitting in the bathroom crying, but he was a Winchester and he had Winchester luck, so better safe than sorry.

He pushed open the bathroom door and heard whoever was in there suck in a sharp breath. Sam flicked on the light and looked down in surprise. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't Gabriel sitting in the bathtub crying.

The archangel had tears streaming down his face and his lower lip trembled, even as he tried to glare at Sam. The hunter dropped the angel blade on the counter and sat down next to the tub. Wordlessly, he wrapped his arms around the shorter man and held him close. Gabriel didn't even hesitate as he wrapped his arms around the hunter's waist and pressed his face into Sam's chest.

Sure, the archangel had been a total douche in the past, what with the Mystery Spot time loop and the TV Land thing, but Sam was a softie at heart and he knew that no one deserved to be crying in a bathtub at three in the morning by themselves.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, trying not to wake Dean. Gabriel sniffled and unwound one of his arms to rub furiously at his face. He wiped his cheeks but new tears pooled in his eyes, making them look huge as he looked up at Sam.

"I miss my family," he said, and for the second time that night, Sam was left surprised, something that was very disconcerting when you were a hunter. He couldn't believe that Gabriel was being this forthcoming with information, especially to Sam. Then again, Cas had told Sam that he and Gabriel shared a "profound bond" much like the one between him and Dean, most likely from the days that Sam had spent stalking the Trickster after Dean's death.

"I just…" the archangel continued, squeezing his eyes shut. "I've been able to ignore the homesickness, but then I met Cassie for the first time and fought Lucifer. And yeah, he killed me, but he was my favorite brother and it _hurt_ being so close to him, yet not being able to do anything about it. And I miss Heaven and Michael and even Raphael. I miss Dad most of all, but I don't even know where He is."

"I know how you feel," Sam said. His legs were starting to hurt from being in such an awkward position for so long but he forced himself to ignore the pain.

"No you don't," Gabriel mumbled into Sam's shirt.

"Yes, I do. When I went off to college, it was painful being away from Dean after being together for so long."

"Yeah, but how long have you known him? Thirty something years? That's nothing. I've known my brothers and father since before the Earth was a thought in His mind. Then I had to watch my two favorite brothers fighting and practically start a civil war up in Heaven, and that was the second most painful thing I've ever experienced."

"What was the first?" Sam asked.

"The worst thing was that even after all of the fighting, all of the times they'd accidentally hurt me with archangel blades when I jumped in front of a blow meant for one of my brothers, even after Lucifer's Fall, when I ran away and became Loki, I still missed them like crazy. I wanted to go home and be with them again, but I couldn't stand to see them fighting."

Gabriel clambered out of the tub and sat next to Sam on the cold linoleum floor. The hunter let Gabriel lean against him and kept both arms firmly locked around the archangel, listening to the story that he'd obviously been dying to tell someone.

"And when Dad announced the Apocalypse it got even worse, because I knew that one of them was gonna die and that I wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it." He let out a small sob and a few more tears trailed down his cheeks. "And it had been centuries since I had even heard from them, and they thought I was dead and they didn't even mourn because they were all too busy preparing for the war but I missed them. And I still do"

Gabriel finally let the dam break and sobbed into Sam's shirt, neither of them caring that it was becoming soaked with tears. Sam held him close and rubbed soothing circles onto his back, not bothering with meaningless lies of comfort. He wouldn't tell Gabriel that it would be okay, because he knew it wouldn't be.

Gabriel would be carrying this ache for the rest of his life. He had Fallen centuries ago, been cut off from Heaven and Sam knew that they wouldn't welcome him back. The ache in his chest that came from missing his family would be there forever, and it obviously wouldn't lessen, as proved by the fact that Gabriel had been away from home for hundreds of years and was still breaking down about it.

He let Gabriel cry himself to sleep in his arms and then carefully lifted him up. Gabriel took in a huge, shaky breath but didn't wake up and Sam carried him over to the bed. He laid the archangel down and slid under the covers beside him.

He placed the archangel blade back on the table between the two beds and pulled Gabriel close, resting his chin on the top of Gabriel's head.

"You're not alone anymore, Gabe," he whispered, and smiled when Gabriel snuggled deeper into Sam's shirt. He gently wiped away the last few tears from Gabriel's face and closed his eyes, falling into a deep and dreamless sleep.

...oO()Oo…

Dean had heard the whole thing. Contrary to Sam's belief, Dean hadn't been so careless as to fall asleep with headphones in. He was awake when Cas and Gabriel came back, when Cas slipped into bed and fell asleep, when Gabriel tiptoed into the bathroom and started crying.

If it had been Cas, Dean would have gotten up to make sure he was okay. But as it was, he didn't like the Trickster and had decided to let him cry in peace. He hadn't been able to because of the guilt churning in his gut, so he had been immensely relieved when Sam had gotten up and checked on Gabriel.

Of course, he had heard whispering and been curious, to he had silently padded up to the door and listened to the conversation. He would never admit it, but his heart had broke a little for the Trickster as he heard why he had tormented them in the past. It didn't excuse him, but now that Dean had a better understanding of why Gabriel had been so eager to get the Apocalypse over with, he found it a little easier to start forgiving.

When Gabriel's breathing had evened out and Sam had gotten up, Dean ran back to bed and dove under the blankets just in time. Unnoticed in the darkness, he opened one eye and watched Sam snuggle up to Gabriel, wiping the archangel's cheeks and resting his chin in Gabe's hair.

He had smiled at the peaceful expression on Sam's face, an expression mirrored on the archangels'. He had fallen asleep with a tiny smirk on his face. And the next morning, if he was just a tad nicer to the archangel and didn't protest when he had insisted on coming with them on their next hunt, well...no one could blame him after what he had heard, right?


End file.
